Got a phone call yesterday and a email today from a "SEO" company promising all sorts and telling me how good they are.
Here is a small snippet..
"Getting to page one isn’t cheap or easy but we take the risk out of the equation for you.
If I could promise that you won’t pay anything until your primary keyword / key phrase hits page 1 of Google and stays there.
Would you be interested?
I can see that you currently use Google Ad words as a way to offer your products and services to people searching on Google forGarden Furniture"
Notice the last two words 
I have replied implying that I might be interested but would like to know a little bit more about the company and their experience.
Lets reel her in before I blast her out of the water MUPPETS