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Dear Sir/Madam
I would like to complain about the quality of the garden furniture I bought from you. My complaints are as follows:
1. The "alternative bean bags", whilst I accept that the items you sold me can be used as seats in the form of bean bags I am finding them very heavy to move around and I don't think the words printed on the outer material are at all attractive - "Ultra Dog Mix for strong teeth and gums - 25kg".
2. When I look on the bottom of the economy size plant-pot watering can I can clearly read the words Pedigree Chum best before 21 June 2007 and I can clearly see that the holes were made with a screw driver.
3. The lawn mower you sold me has just pee'd in my kitchen and looks very much like a Texel sheep.
Please address my complaints by return.
Sad Cow (trying to avoid working)
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