Quote:
Originally Posted by PI Guy
What else does it need?
|
Rules of good copy apply!! - make it less boring.
First you have to get them to read it!
To do that you need a headline....
And then write it as though you were talking to them!
...address all the hot buttons, worries and objections...
And make a great offer and guarantee!
eg , just a quick sketch
How to serve process ANYWHERE fast:
Even to people who dont want to be found....
Dear legal eagle
Wouldnt life be so easy, if all you had to do , was turn up at the door, serve the paperwork and go!
As you know life isnt always like that....some people are not where they should be, and others just dont want to be found.
Which is why it is better to hire a server who can also track them down!
Thats where we come in..
Place your business with us and we promise...
(a) If anyone can find them we can. That means if we fail to find them,
and you find someone else that can, we will happily refund our fee!
(b) Our team of proven private investigators - can also find out ALL about them, and we are so discrete - they will never know we were looking! - so it's a one stop shop for investigation and serving - anywhere in the UK
(c) We will keep you informed on a weekly basis, and give you a report of all we have done. You wont have to chase us at all.
(d) We can be contacted at half an hours notice, and urgent jobs we will start right away!!
(e) There will never be any surprises on the bill! - we will tell you before we incur extra costs
(etc
etc address all the annoyances and objections
it is interesting that even stating obvious things like turning up on time, and being available
do help conversion because they do address real objections people have)
This really works!
See what our clients have to say about us....
(testimonials)
You are welcome to call any of them if you wish.
It turns out that we have an empty week in the diary during the month of june - we finished a big job ahead of time!
(always explain why you are making an offer)
...so if you place an order with us for serving or investigations in the next two weeks, we can give you the first 2 hours for free!!
(then a close)
So If you dont mind I would like to call you in the next two days..
(suggest you ALSO give them a cracking good reason to sign up on your website too to make best advantage of the mailing
eg some really useful guide )