Quote:
Originally Posted by crackingmedia
Justin - I like the conversational style of your writing very much and the fact that you offer your opinion. It works well I think. Incidentally, there is a typo in your link - have a read of the blog folks - try this link: http://solutions4finance.com/blog
Thanks too for everyone else who has posted. Some great thoughts and ideas.
I have written quite a lot of the content on our business website. Whilst I pride myself in thinking that I can write reasonably well, I am never sure that when I come to writing for marketing/promoting what we do etc that I am really hitting the target with the reader and also delivering enough keyword content for the search engine. I don't know about you, but I think it is quite hard to step back and critique your own writing objectively. I tend to be over analytical and then lose the plot.
So if anyone has the time to wander over to our site (I'm not expecting a detailed analysis!) and critique the content - no holds barred - then that would be appreciated.
Thanks all,
Peter |
Several points peter.....
First to say that is a gorgeous wordpress theme well done!
The main problem I see is right in the center - eyeline is drawn to a headline "About cracking media"
It neither reinforces the title tags, so doesnt help SEO - but wors it doesnt give a compelling reason to read.
You need a much stronger headline...around a benefit...or quesiton
"Do you make these mistakes on your website?"
Would make people read.
You then talk about you not the customer...
"Cracking Media has grown from over 15 years experience of software development, Internet marketing and multimedia design"
You have to draw people into reading...and into wanting to change page
So talk about how you can improve their websites!
It is true of the other tabs too.
eg the video tab
DVD, Hi Def, Web or Mobile.
Stay ahead of the video revolution. Call now for our premier promo video services
The question in the readers mind is "so what" and "whats in it for me"
You dont say why they need a video...
If that tab said...
"Discover why promotional video is new secret to traffic and sales on the inernet...click here..."
or
People would want to read it!!
eg the photoraphytag says
You can take advantage of our full range of photographic services for both personal and business application.
Again the questino is "so what?"
If that tab said
"3 ways to use a photograph to
promote your business, or as the
perfect personal gift!
See what I mean?
You could certainly get a lot better conversion if you got a direct response copywriter to do this for you
And I would go further - I would tell them a bit about promotional video then askt hem for an email (or postal addess) for the
"Ultimate Promotional Video Guide" which shows them how to use it!
Dont try to sell promotional vidoe of the page - it is a multistpep