I pay the VAT to my suppliers rather than the customer paying the VAT - basically because I'm not VAT registered and its another headache I dont need to worry about
But anyway, in MS Accounting whenever I do quotes and stuff its adding VAT to my products, but in my product specification I have the VAT rate set as Purchase VAT, which is obviously being added to the sale rather than the purchase so what VAT code should I set the product to? VAT exempt? or just remove the VAT from the sale manually
As you are not VAT registered, you should really just ignore the VAT amount completely - and look at the total cost.
You have no VAT to account for so your VAT rate should be set to no VAT. It sounds like your setup needs to be adjusted to not VAT registered as you shouldn't account for VAT on sales or purchases.