Feels like Friday

pvcprinting · #31 (**permalink**) 20-03-2008, 21:14

Last weekend my credit card was stolen but I decided not to report it because the thief is spending less than my wife does.

pvcprinting · #32 (**permalink**) 20-03-2008, 21:14

A guy stood over his tee shot for what seemed an eternity, looking up, looking down, measuring the distance, figuring the wind direction and speed... driving his partner nuts.
Finally his exasperated partner says, "What is taking so long? Hit the damned ball!"
The guy answers, "My wife is up there watching me from the clubhouse. I want to make this a perfect shot."
"Give me a break! You don't stand a snowball's chance in hell of hitting her from here."

pvcprinting · #33 (**permalink**) 20-03-2008, 21:15

A man rushes into his house and yells to his wife, "Pack up your things! I just won the lottery!"
His wife replies, "Shall I pack for warm weather or cold?"
The man responds, "I don't care. Just so long as you're out of the house by noon!"

pvcprinting · #34 (**permalink**) 20-03-2008, 21:16

Marriage - a three ring circus:
engagement ring,
wedding ring,
and suffering

pvcprinting · #35 (**permalink**) 20-03-2008, 21:16

John's dad picked him up from school to take him to a dental appointment. Knowing the parts for the school play were supposed to be posted today, he asked his son if he got a part.
John enthusiastically announced that he'd gotten a part. "I play a man who's been married for twenty years."
"That's great, son. Keep up the good work and before you know it they'll be giving you a speaking part."