[sally]

1. Don’t **** off your peasants. They’ll revolt and kill you.

2. Never invade Russia from the west. The snow will kill you. (The Russians will help)

3. The French always lose. If the French win it is because they are fighting themselves, being led by someone who is not French, or someone else is doing all of the fighting. It’s best to just ignore France.

4. The Jews are the most persecuted people in history. Statistically, they’re bound to start winning sometime. (As long as they don’t **** of their peasants or invade Russia…or ally themselves with the French)

5. Burning down cities will not bring your Messiah back.

6. The Romans declared war on China. They didn’t know where China was or what it was but they thought it would be a good idea to declare war on it just in case. It’s always good to declare war on people you don’t know…as long as they don’t find out and kill you.

7. When in doubt pay your enemies to go sack another civilization.

8. Conquer the world…but don’t forget to govern your empire or it will fall apart

9. You can **** off a king. The worst he can do is kill you. Don’t **** off the pope. He can send you to hell. Nobody likes hell.

10. The Jews are smart. They don’t have a hell.

11. It’s better to be feared than loved but it’s better to be loved than to be killed by an angry mob.

12. Don’t kill the grandson of a prophet.

13. Never pick on a civilization that can burn water. We don’t know what Greek fire was, but we know that it was cool.

14. Don’t mess with Genghis Khan unless you want to live your deepest fears.

15. Leonardo da Vinci invented chemical weapons.

16. We all came from Africa. Get over it.

17. When dealing with religion, facts are of little importance. What matter are faith and beliefs and the fact that people are willing to fight and die for them. More people have died in the name of God than for any other cause in history.

18. Christopher Columbus did NOT discover America. Nor did he believe that the world was flat. The Moral of This Story: Elementary History Teachers Lied to You

19. Armed with pitchforks, the Chinese could take over the world.

20. Do not mess with a Japanese samurai. Even if you’re Chinese and have a pitchfork.

21. Keep an eye on Poland in case it decides to walk across Europe again.

22. The Tatars did not invent tartar sauce. The Egyptians did invent chocolate cake and for that we are grateful.

23. Strawberry pop-tarts will shoot 3 foot flames out of your toaster if you leave them in there for a really long time.

24. Guys who talk to statues and appoint their horse Consul of Rome generally don’t make good Emperors.

25. The Arabs did not invent terrorism. They did, however, invent algebra. This is a perfectly acceptable reason to go to war.

26. If you’re going to declare that you’re god, make sure that you know how to make it rain during a draught.

27. Switzerland is cool…they have chocolate, pocket knives, watches, banks, the most armed society in the world, and a military that is so effective, its banned from most wars by international law. Not even Hitler was stupid enough to mess with the Swiss.

28. Mercenaries fight for whoever pays them the most money. You can’t trust them not to betray you.

29. You cannot accurately translate Arabic into English. If you want to truly understand Islam you must first learn to speak Arabic. Do not study Arabic because it is “pretty.”

30. Trade is the best way to spread culture, disease, religion, language, and technology but conquest works in the unlikely event that you don’t have anything that anyone else wants.

[Alvin]

Originally Posted by sally

1. Don’t **** off your peasants. They’ll revolt and kill you.Not if there English peasants

2. Never invade Russia from the west. The snow will kill you. (The Russians will help) agree allways invade from above

3. The French always lose. If the French win it is because they are fighting themselves, being led by someone who is not French, or someone else is doing all of the fighting. It’s best to just ignore France.unless you play rugby

4. The Jews are the most persecuted people in history. Statistically, they’re bound to start winning sometime. (As long as they don’t **** of their peasants or invade Russia…or ally themselves with the French) .The jews control the world financially.

5. Burning down cities will not bring your Messiah back.But it stops you getting frost bite

6. The Romans declared war on China. They didn’t know where China was or what it was but they thought it would be a good idea to declare war on it just in case. It’s always good to declare war on people you don’t know…as long as they don’t find out and kill you.China are having there revenge now by poisining all the Roman children

7. When in doubt pay your enemies to go sack another civilization.Make your enimies your friends then you can both go sack a city

8. Conquer the world…but don’t forget to govern your empire or it will fall apart And remember not to fly BA or you will loose your makeup case

9. You can **** off a king. The worst he can do is kill you. Don’t **** off the pope. He can send you to hell. Nobody likes hell.Wanna bet

10. The Jews are smart. They don’t have a hell.never heard of circumcision.?

11. It’s better to be feared than loved but it’s better to be loved than to be killed by an angry mob.THats why I voted for the green party
12. Don’t kill the grandson of a prophet.Kill the whole family then no one will know

13. Never pick on a civilization that can burn water. We don’t know what Greek fire was, but we know that it was cool.Or the enlish who can burn money

14. Don’t mess with Genghis Khan unless you want to live your deepest fears.I'll remember that when I get up there

15. Leonardo da Vinci invented chemical weapons.He did not invent lipstick

16. We all came from Africa. Get over it.untrue we came from a continent that was all joined together.

17. When dealing with religion, facts are of little importance. What matter are faith and beliefs and the fact that people are willing to fight and die for them. More people have died in the name of God than for any other cause in history.True we all meet god at some time

18. Christopher Columbus did NOT discover America. Nor did he believe that the world was flat. The Moral of This Story: Elementary History Teachers Lied to You.True the devil discovered america

19. Armed with pitchforks, the Chinese could take over the world.and eat giant noodles

20. Do not mess with a Japanese samurai. Even if you’re Chinese and have a pitchfork.Bet my number 32 can beat your 54

21. Keep an eye on Poland in case it decides to walk across Europe again.never Poles always go up

22. The Tatars did not invent tartar sauce. The Egyptians did invent chocolate cake and for that we are grateful.Not as much as weigh****chers are.

23. Strawberry pop-tarts will shoot 3 foot flames out of your toaster if you leave them in there for a really long time.What do blonde tarts do

24. Guys who talk to statues and appoint their horse Consul of Rome generally don’t make good Emperors.Neither do people who talk to themselves

25. The Arabs did not invent terrorism. They did, however, invent algebra. This is a perfectly acceptable reason to go to war.Abacussses on the arabs for that

26. If you’re going to declare that you’re god, make sure that you know how to make it rain during a draught.Or be No 1 on google

27. Switzerland is cool…they have chocolate, pocket knives, watches, banks, the most armed society in the world, and a military that is so effective, its banned from most wars by international law. Not even Hitler was stupid enough to mess with the Swiss.Rubbish,the run like f**k,where do you think the expression Swissroll came from

28. Mercenaries fight for whoever pays them the most money. You can’t trust them not to betray you.untrue mercenaries fight for whoever pays them first

29. You cannot accurately translate Arabic into English. If you want to truly understand Islam you must first learn to speak Arabic. Do not study Arabic because it is “pretty.” arabic is easy provided you can make the sounds of various wild animals

30. Trade is the best way to spread culture, disease, religion, language, and technology but conquest works in the unlikely event that you don’t have anything that anyone else wants.

Unlikely as mankind contains the best possible protein for human beings.so a bag of chips and a bit of salt and vinegar and you have just had the most nutritious meal possible

Just corrected a few minor errors Sally

A

[sally]

Well done Al

You are right about the devil discovering the US and the barsteward still lives there.