Time for some fun

Chubster · #1 (**permalink**) 03-06-2008, 09:26

Got a phone call yesterday and a email today from a "SEO" company promising all sorts and telling me how good they are.

Here is a small snippet..

"Getting to page one isn’t cheap or easy but we take the risk out of the equation for you.

If I could promise that you won’t pay anything until your primary keyword / key phrase hits page 1 of Google and stays there.
Would you be interested?

I can see that you currently use Google Ad words as a way to offer your products and services to people searching on Google forGarden Furniture"

Notice the last two words

I have replied implying that I might be interested but would like to know a little bit more about the company and their experience.

Lets reel her in before I blast her out of the water

MUPPETS

sally · #2 (**permalink**) 03-06-2008, 09:30

Hey Chub please can I order some wicker patio furniture (I don't have a patio but of course that should suit you fine).

PremierPDS · #3 (**permalink**) 03-06-2008, 09:30

lol, someone else put a thread up about something similar the other day. Lord, do people actually fall for this sh*te. Nice to see you're stocking garden furniture though Chubs- I'd love to see it...sun loungers for gerbils, hmmmmmm, you're missing a trick there Chub

Chubster · #4 (**permalink**) 03-06-2008, 09:40

Quote:

Originally Posted by sally

Hey Chub please can I order some wicker patio furniture (I don't have a patio but of course that should suit you fine).

Of course you can Sally...no need to worry about the patio all our furniture comes with a free one built in!

And if you are not entirely happy with it you dont have to pay me a thing.

Please allow 25 years for delivery.

Chubster · #5 (**permalink**) 03-06-2008, 09:49

Quote:

Originally Posted by PremierPDS

Nice to see you're stocking garden furniture though Chubs- I'd love to see it...sun loungers for gerbils, hmmmmmm, you're missing a trick there Chub

I tried it once but kept getting customers complaining of the durability of said furniture

Chubster · #6 (**permalink**) 03-06-2008, 10:28

Just got this response to my email

Our directors have about 15 years internet experience and our Company has been established for 3 years now.

2 of our directors come from a large international company called byss so we have very strong connections in the European market.

If you have any more information please feel free to contact me.

I pointed out that if I ever start a site selling garden furniture I might be interested.....strewth!

pvcprinting · #7 (**permalink**) 03-06-2008, 10:36

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chubster

I tried it once but kept getting customers complaining of the durability of said furniture

Chubs......WHEN exactly were you in my office?

Chubster · #8 (**permalink**) 03-06-2008, 10:50

Sorry mate...I was looking for me gerbil..

PremierPDS · #9 (**permalink**) 03-06-2008, 10:59

You guys are nuts!!!

sally · #10 (**permalink**) 03-06-2008, 11:07

Dear Sir/Madam

I would like to complain about the quality of the garden furniture I bought from you. My complaints are as follows:

1. The "alternative bean bags", whilst I accept that the items you sold me can be used as seats in the form of bean bags I am finding them very heavy to move around and I don't think the words printed on the outer material are at all attractive - "Ultra Dog Mix for strong teeth and gums - 25kg".

2. When I look on the bottom of the economy size plant-pot watering can I can clearly read the words Pedigree Chum best before 21 June 2007 and I can clearly see that the holes were made with a screw driver.

3. The lawn mower you sold me has just pee'd in my kitchen and looks very much like a Texel sheep.

Please address my complaints by return.

Sad Cow (trying to avoid working)